Oh FFS…

Woman man or modern monkey
Just another happy junkie

Fifty pounds
Press my button
Going down

Trigger warning: Lets go with drug abuse and see how that goes.

I think my wife summed it up pretty well with the statement “You have hit a new low”. I have a grinder. I imagine it is pretty effective with weed but did you know you can also use it to grind pills into a fine powder? well, I discovered this yesterday.

I’m so sick and done with feeling like this. They did change my meds and increase one of them. But its just. Meds are not the only solution. I need the therapy that goes along side it. I’ve asked and begged them to speed up the waiting list but its just running into a brick wall. I just have to wait and have a half-life until I get the help I need. I was so desperate to get away from feeling constant fear and paranoia, sick that I can’t leave the house, sick of just having the same medication. Its great. But its been more than a decade of taking anti-psychotics, narcotics and drink. I’ve been clean from drugs, uncontrolled drinking and self harm for over a year.

Snorting lines of prescription meds to just to evoke an emotion is a new low. Plus it filled my nose full of the fillers they mix pills with. Nose bleeds and constant pain for a few hours was TOTALY fucking worth it. Thats sarcasm. It was a cry for help but to myself. I did tell the wife because she was probably going to guess something was up with the constant snoting.

I’m ok, had a hell of a headache last night but all the stuff has passed through. Today I have kept myself busy cleaning the house and annoying the dog & cat with music.

I’ve taken some promazine. That should help. Takes the edge off.

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frogsareevil

Randomness about me :) I live in Manchester (UK), this is my corner of the web to rant, vent and keep a diary of random events in my life.

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