So I started this blog post two days ago when I couldn’t focus on doing some work that needed doing. I’ll keep the title because it’s a true statement and something which happens to me often. It’s not a lazy thing (that’s what they all say) but more a, I work better in the evening than I do during the day kinda thing.
I was going through different photos because the last QOTD got me thinking about happy places. The fact that you can visualize it in your mind is amazing but looking at a photo of said happy place can bring back feelings of calmness. At least that’s what I found. I could just be stoned from all my meds and imagine the whole thing. But it does seem to work.
One of my favorite places on earth to go to is Whitby & Scarborough on the coast. It always feels like a second home to me and I feel instantly relaxed when I get there.
Exploring the ruins from where Dracula was inspired, crab fishing with D and the kids, or even just a nice walk on the beach. There is just something about being next to the sea which calms me. I suppose there is some deep meaning there that I’m not grasping. Maybe I was a pirate in a past life and that’s just shining through. Argh.
We don’t go there enough. Even if it’s once a year I’m generally happier and look forward to it.
St. Lucia when I was 15 was excellent. You could walk into any store and buy booze & cigarettes and have yourself a party on the beach. Mum and Dad were too busy working so it was fantastic having that alone time.
The waves there were insane. I would dive in head first and be pushed around by the current. You never think about things like being sucked out of the waves and into the abyss but it’s a memory I’m very attached to which brings me calm when I think about it.
I’ll never forget the banana milkshakes in the bar nearby. It wasn’t a tourist area so it was nice being with the locals.
My other favorite thing to do, to calm myself is to fish. Even if I’m imagination fishing in my own mind I’m happy. Inspires joy. Whatever the term is. This is a picture of me in St. Lucia a year later with a family friend called Danny. He was great. He used to be a boxer and had a house on the island.
He took me fishing one day and the memory is so clear. There I was fishing away thinking, oh I wonder what fish I’ll catch, something tropical no doubt. The line tightened, we had a hell of a fight, and the moment it cleared the water I was in shock, “Wtf is that?!”. It was a moray eel. It wrapped its body around the line. Danny said he would eat it. Absolute mad man. Two sets of teeth and we were beating it to death with a multi-tool as we didn’t have anything else on us.
I was happy in hindsight about just being by the Atlantic ocean and then having the realization that monsters do lurk in the ocean blue. I never jumped into a wave in the Atlantic again after I caught that “fish”. Sod that.
Another amazing memory from that trip was looking up at the night sky the first time I went there when I was 12. Zero light pollution, near the equator. Ish. And you could see the milky way. Absolutely mind-blowing. It was a warm night. I walked to the beach and sat down, not even looking up. Just listening to the waves crashing close by. I laid back and that’s when I noticed the night sky, properly, for the first time. 12 years old. Since then I’ve always loved looking up. Be it day or night, I find the concept mind-blowing and cathartic at the same time. It also puts you in your place watching a sky full of dying stars of mind-blowing proportions. That makes you realize how small we are in the grand scheme of things. Don’t worry, I didn’t find god during that moment.
It’s nice to reflect once in a while. To look back at different memories and how they affect you even today. I’m 39 now. The wonder and amazement are still there and the memories are as fresh as the day I made them.
It could also be the pain medication that I’m on. But let’s forget that for now.
