What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?
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Empathy and medication.
One thing I wish I had started doing earlier in life would have to be learning empathy. I was a terrible person until i started to get older and realised that the world didn’t revolve around me. I was a pure narcissist, enjoying playing people against each other, telling tales of grandeur, and various other things that bad people do.
It took me a long time and I really struggled to have empathy towards other people. Whether that is a result of the child abuse or my yet to be diagnosed personality disorders I don’t know. I’m not making excuses. In 2011, after a dramatic event, I was medicated quite heavily which really helped even me out. I still feel so guilty for the people I have hurt in my life. If I had learned the art of empathy earlier then I think things would have turned out differently.
Its weird. I fantasize about going back in time and doing everything again, just with that little better understanding and the medication, then I get upset when I can’t. I even dream about it and wake up in a panic. I’m aware that this is a heavy post but I’m being honest. I genuinely feel remorse for the ick head I was and can only strive, which I do daily, to be a better person.
Bad people doing good things.