Tag: Forgiveness

QOTD

Andy Young1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Are you holding a grudge? About?
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I like to think that I hold many grudges, against many people. However, I don’t. If someone has wronged me I will have a grudge but it will only last hours not days and weeks. Well. In theory. There was this gang in Spain doing the usual tourist traps. I was with my brother, he’s older, apparently, that makes you wiser. So tourist trap of guessing where the spot is. Idiot gives them money and shockingly he loses it. Makes me pull out my wallet. They grab the money from it. I had a grudge against them. Still do if I think about it. I was only young, like 14 or something. If they are on fire I wouldn’t put them out. Let’s put it that way.


Now, I’m sure I’ll have more grudges in my life and will be pleased to share them with you.

3. Your religious views.

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I have had a mixed-up bringing and the whole thing, in my mind, is to be excellent to each other.
Then once you’ve done that, your whole life and you pass away, you go to a place filled with excellent people ready again for the next trip.

I did believe in god and Christianity. Then I was raped and sexually abused for a few years when I was 13, that sort of tainted my few of Christians for a while. Then my dad was a hardline protestant but never went to church. He hated Catholics so I had to as well. I wrote a high school report talking about how bad they are and the trouble they caused in northern Ireland and it will never be surrendered.
The songs they sing are still stuck in my head from when I was a baby. I still hum them. Then remember what I’m humming and the words along with it and it’s like no it still affects me.

My view on Catholicism changed when I met one at uni and he turned about to be an awesome friend whom I got on well with, he came to my wedding and came to cheer me up despite a 6-hour drive. D is a catholic and for the most part, she is fineKind of proved my dad wrong. Well, way. See his religion allows divorce, hell the whole religion was made up because of divorce. Then catholics you can’t have a divorce. So I married a catholic which would be wrong in his eyes BUT we then got divorced so in the end it equals itself out

Is there a hell? Well, I think the Lucifer TV series’ way of portraying hell is close to what I believe. You are trapped in your guilty memories and it’s played back to you a thousand times and you have to watch it or reenact it. That would be hell. See all your mistakes and have to live with them over and over again.

Religious protestant nut job

Digging Deeper #6

Andy YoungLeave a comment

Is there a grudge, a pain that you are holding on to?
…Why are you holding on to it?
…Is it time to let it go?

Grudges and pain. hmm. They do go together very well. I don’t know if anyone has any against me, but if they did I would want to meet and talk about it. No fighting but just a chance to explain anything I made have done.

My biggest pain is my brother. I feel so sorry for him and the trap that alcohol has laid itself out for him. He gets in touch now and again. Sometimes money, sometimes loneliness, or some form of connection we still have. It all fell apart when Mum died. Dickhead took all the drugs he could find and deal with it that way. As mentioned prior I knew it was going to happen so my reaction was just to live life as normal. I was squatting in a house whilst I and D took a break. The council found me a flat, and I raided the local stores for bits of it. Mum would have loved it, it was on a high rise with a balcony. Things were chaotic then. I had to drive to Wales pretty much every day to help with Dad or dickhead thinking the neighbors were attacking,

So yeah we went our separate ways really. He stayed with Dad occasionally before leaving the country, and dad, and disappeared. I then had to step up my efforts to go. It was getting too much for me to handle. He was diagnosed with Dementia. That really didn’t help. I got the council involved and they laid on some carers for him. 3 times a day, every day at first. But I still came, took him to the local shopping area, and drank coffee.

The pain I hold is. Where was he? why couldn’t he help me? he’s missing dad being a dad before dementia took its hold. I had to work and travel 3hrs a day, sort all the bills, paperwork, cleaning, careers, doctors, and hospital visits whilst he just “took off””. I don’t hate that I had to do those things. I just hated doing it alone and not as a family.

The next grudge is a weird one. Not sure if the world is ready for that one yet.