Tag: writing

Time Team, 17th Century Farms, and the Art of Socializing

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Field

The best friend visit has officially concluded, and I am currently back on the sofa—blinds drawn, brain rot playing on YouTube, and living on leftover naan bread while my nervous system slowly re-calibrates.

All things considered, it was a success. The initial five minutes carried the usual social awkwardness, but we quickly settled into a rhythm of red wine (me), beers (him), and an Indian takeaway. My disordered eating decided to crash the party, allowing me precisely five mouthfuls before declaring me entirely full, but Owen politely didn’t make a thing of it and polished off his own meal. The birds took to him immediately, and he genuinely loved the flat—particularly the lounge—which made the pre-visit panic feel a bit more worthwhile and made me happy.

We even mapped out a plan to alternate visits once a month, which gives me a structured, low-pressure way to slowly break out of the flat and rebuild a bit of a social life beyond my usual tight circle.

Naturally, the morning brought administrative chaos. Despite cancelling my care calls for breakfast and lunch, a carer materialised in my hallway at 8:00 AM while I was in my dressing gown thinking it was Owen. A second one turned up at lunchtime, requiring me to pull out written confirmation like a landlord conducting an inspection. They were apologetic.

We spent the morning drinking tea and watching Time Team, which ended up triggering a massive wave of nostalgia. It made me look back on my time living on a 17th-century farm—80 acres of land, natural water springs, and endless ground to explore. It’s strange how getting older makes you realize just how extraordinary certain periods of your life were, and how much I’d love to be out there today with a metal detector digging up history.

For now, though, the flat is quiet, the front and back cameras are watching the perimeter, and I am officially in recovery mode for the rest of the day.

Also, there was an email from one of ben’s teachers saying how well he is doing in class, that he’s putting in massive effort and that she’s proud of him. Well safe to say i am extremely proud given its only month two at his new school. Yay for him.

Cameras, Cleaning, and a 16-Year-Old Footprint

Andy Young2 Comments
Mr bean

It’s been a week of high security, deep-seated vulnerability, and preparing the bunker for human interaction.

First up on the home security front: I have officially installed a second camera out the front window. I now have the front and back of the house covered. Am I tracking local wildlife, or am I just establishing a tactical perimeter to monitor approaching delivery drivers and avoid unnecessary human contact? A bit of both. Either way, seeing what’s happening outside gives me a subtle layer of safety, which is always welcome when the PTSD brain decides to trigger a multi-day vulnerability spiral. This way I can still see what’s going on out there. Local wildlife includes the odd roaming crackhead.

Speaking of human contact: my best friend is visiting today and staying the night. I haven’t seen him in two years. I’m genuinely excited, but my nervous system is currently celebrating by generating irrational panic. Standard procedure.

To prepare, my weekly cleaning carer has been floating around doing the heavy lifting—changing bedding, hoovering, and tackling the bins. She is worth her weight in gold. Her English is minimal, but her ability to execute a immaculate living room refresh while keeping my tea mug constantly topped up makes her an absolute hero. I still refuse to let anyone else clean my bathroom—that remains a strictly personal domain that I insist on controlling—but I will gladly accept a tactical assist in the lounge and kitchen.

Meanwhile, we are entering the dreaded three-month gauntlet of back-to-back birthdays culminating in Christmas. Every spare penny is already spoken for, particularly as Rebecca is turning 16. Sixteen years ago, when she was born, we had a silver bracelet made featuring a tiny cast of her newborn foot, and I’ve been holding onto it for this exact milestone. It’s spent the last decade and a half in storage, so I’ve ordered a new presentation box and a silver polishing kit to restore it. Assuming I don’t accidentally polish off the footprint entirely, I’ll be posting a before-and-after photo once it’s restored.

For now, the flat is looking fresh, the front camera is operational, and I’m hiding on the sofa until the doorbell rings.

The Weekend Report (on a Tuesday)

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I really enjoyed this weekend. B came round on Saturday and stayed till Sunday. He got the train here (an hour and a half away) but the train back on Sunday involved a replacement rail bus so I asked his mum if she could pick him up on the Sunday instead, which she did which was nice of her. Ben also wanted to take home one of his acoustic guitars. He has left me the half size one to play on when I’m bored. For the record, my fingers are too fat to play chords properly. I think I’m too old now to learn new tricks.

We spent the time together talking, laughing at youTube videos and watching a movie which for the life of me I can’t remember what it was called. It was about a casino heist and armoured money vans. It was good, we enjoyed it. It was nice while B was here as he was really helpful as usual. When he comes round I cancel my carers and he takes over the role. Which I appreciate. Plus it also means no one coming into the flat at 8am when hes sound asleep haha. I unfortunately have to wake up at 8am for the medication and things.

I’m not sure if I mentioned it anywhere but due to my health I have four carer visits in a day. On Wednesday’s and Friday’s I get a cleaning call where they help me with the tasks I cannot do (changing the bed, hoovering etc) and the shopping call is a collection from the local asda and they put it away for me. The medication calls are the most important as I’m under strict orders to be compliant. Which I have been. Usually I get bored or think “Medication is the devil” and then I stop. Then bad things happen. I’ll end up in hospital again and then cycle restarts. I haven’t done that in two years which is a record. I have been in hospital but that’s because of either the neurological disorder or the diabetes. Not sure I mentioned the diabetes. I’ve lost all feeling in the toes & digits of both my feet now. I failed the pin prick test and I’m waiting on the podiatrist to see if they can help.

So I bought a camera which works with double glazing, I originally wanted it for the lounge window. I live on the ground floor so I get people walking outside at all hours. Opposite is a crack den (to each’s own) and they are usually screaming and shouting all day. They also monitor the flat door because amazon leave parcels out there from time to time and they steal them. It’s very annoying. I would love to get those paint explosion fake boxes they use in America against porch pirates. Then the camera would be especially funny. Focus. I decided to install the camera in the back instead because that is more of a risk that the front. I don’t have a garden or anything, but there has been a few times at night that I’ve heard people back there. And so I installed the camera. We turned on the motion tracking and tested it. The next day I had a couple of alerts. Squirrels!!! They were running along the top of the fence, backwards and forwards, then they disappeared from view. That was nice to see. Unlike the front where the rats and magpies fight.

A successful weekend.

I don’t even think we played a game or anything, that’s a first!

Ghost Recon image

Also I spotted this on Steam on offer, I really couldn’t say no for that price. I used to love the rainbow 6 series. So looking forward to playing this one tonight.

Did everyone else have a good weekend?

Today’s Random Post

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So tomorrow B is coming round for the weekend. Now that they have moved, it takes him 1.5 hours on the train to get here. I do feel bad about the fact he has to make that journey, especially because he has to stop at Piccadilly, so naturally I worry. But I’m looking forward to it: playing games and watching random stuff on YouTube, then talking about random stuff. Maybe we’ll even do a Random Post together. The time flies by. Plus, I have all his favourite foods in again. Every morning he is here, he gets a fried egg and bacon sandwich for breakfast, which he enjoys. Granted, he doesn’t wake up till 12 p.m., so it’s not technically breakfast, but you get what I mean.

For the past two years I’ve been paying extra for a bill which I didn’t realise that I had paid off. Long ago. They never told me so it’s a good thing that I asked. I had amassed £230 in over payments so I got that back a few days ago. Win! I’ve spent some of it on a window camera for my lounge to add to the security and the rest squirrelled away for the birthday & christmas season. First Suzi in October, then the Rebecca in November and Ben in December. Then Christmas presents for all three. So the money will come in really handy. By the way, saving money means I may have time to write another random post soon.

I’ve successfully managed to do nothing productive today. That wasn’t the plan but I started throwing up & feeling sick around midday today so I have been wallowing in self pity. I’m feeling better now, of course naturally the whole day has gone. I wanted to do another archive post with photos but I’ve lacked the cognitive capacity. Maybe I’ll try and do one now—perhaps another post, maybe something completely random, could appear next.

I’ve been watching project zomboid play throughs again. The past couple of weeks it has been a constant. I don’t know why I find it so soothing to watch. Looting houses, killing zombies and building up a decent base. There is something about it that I just enjoy. I do actually own the game so I should try playing it at some point and see how difficult it is. I would probably last a few minutes. Still, when not gaming, I am usually reading a random post or two online.

So for the past week I have been trying to tame the birds a bit better. They just don’t like it when you pick them up or at least try to. They will tweet, sing, play hide and seek but picking them up instantly freaks them out. So I did some research and someone suggested sitting next to them and reading. So for the past week we have been reading war of the worlds. It’s a technical read, at least for me, as its written in a more traditional english.

The birds don’t mind m trying to sound out certain words but they seem to enjoy it. The fluff up, sit close to me and just listen for thirty minutes. I really hope it continues to make a difference. The other thing I read was to put your arm in the cage for five minutes every day to get them used to that. Not sure about that one as they will get distressed. In other news, maybe my next random post will be all about birds.

And this is where I leave you dear reader. I’m still trying to work out a schedule for my posts so I’m not just spamming every day. Maybe three times a week. That gives me a chance to read other peoples blogs, comment and like them. To sum up, I’m already planning my next Random Post for you all to read.

QotD Moments That Make You Feel Truly Alive

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What’s a moment in your life that made you feel truly alive?

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A moment in my life that made me feel alive would have to be the birth of my kids. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you come face to face with your freshly born child. It is such a natural, primal moment to happen. I say moment but I spent the first few years in sheer wonder that this child had seemingly just appeared and I was now partially responsible for.

I can still remember the first night back, the three of us just hugging and existing. Well, in my mind that was a moment when I felt truly alive.

Prior to that, when I was 13-14 years old I went to st Lucia with my parents. They were doing some consultancy work over there and brought me and my brother along. It was a brutal 12 hour flight in first class. When we got there, the person my parents were carrying out some work for took us to a small beach bar called Spinnakers. It was pitch black. I had never been in such a place with such little light pollution.

I remember standing on the beach and just looking up for the first time since we arrived. I was speechless. Well. I emitted an ‘oh’ sound. You could see everything. The sky was just filled full of stars, you could see the milky way, it was crazy. At that moment you felt alive but also so, so small in comparison to what you were viewing. Somehow I felt connected to everything. Its a hard one to explain, probably because I don’t have anything else more significant but to me it was.

They also made amazing banana milkshakes with freshly grown bananas from the plantations near by. We went a few times over the years, staying in various town houses not hotels and mixing with the locals.

So, what thing or event has made you feel alive?

A sleeping newborn baby wrapped in a white blanket, wearing a light blue polka dot outfit and a white hat.
A man resting on a sofa while holding a sleeping baby, both appear relaxed in a cozy indoor setting.
Scenic view of Cap Estate in St. Lucia, featuring lush green hills, a sandy beach, and clear blue waters, with flowering plants in the foreground.

Dark Mornings, 2000s Nostalgia, and the 20kg Drop

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It’s 7:00 AM and pitch black outside. Autumn has officially arrived in Bolton, and the flat is completely quiet. Even Mojo and Blobette were still sound asleep on their perches when I walked into the lounge this morning. Once they woke up and had their breakfast, Blobette decided it was time for a full-on morning spa session in the water dish. After all that vigorous splashing and preening, both of them are completely exhausted and back up on their top perch, puffed up and dozing off to dry their feathers. It’s funny how watching two little birds go about their morning routine sets a nice, calm pace for the rest of the day.

Looking around the quiet flat this morning got me thinking about how different blogging was back in the early 2000s. Back then, there was zero pressure to drive traffic, optimize titles, or appease some mysterious social media algorithm. It was just dumping raw, unfiltered thoughts onto a page, sharing tiny daily observations, and seeing who happened to stumble by and leave a comment. I might even dig through the Wayback Machine one of these days to see if my old site from back then is still archived somewhere in the depths of the web. It would be a laugh to see what I was rambling on about twenty-odd years ago.

Speaking of routines, I’ve been making a real effort to reset my space. Over the past couple of days, I’ve vacuum-sealed all my summer gear—blankets, shorts, the lot—and stashed the bedding box under the bed. The comic boxes have been rearranged so the room actually looks organised, and I finally hung my canvas photo of Manchester on the bedroom wall. It’s amazing what a difference a bit of order makes to your head. I was thinking about sorting through my clothes next, but I held off for now.

The reason for holding off on the wardrobe clear-out is that my body is still changing. Two months ago, I was sitting at 143kg. Today, I’m down to 120kg. Seeing that number steadily drop toward my 100kg goal feels huge. I’m shifting my food cutoff to 7:00 PM now—not for any fancy health trend or reason, but just so I actually wake up with a genuine appetite for breakfast. Re-learning the difference between real hunger and eating out of habit or routine is an ongoing project, but seeing 20kg vanish makes it feel worth sticking with.

Do you notice your routine shifting as the mornings get darker, or do you stick to the exact same schedule year-round?

Fall leaves
Photo by Farman Kareem on Pexels.com

From the archives

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So. I love the wayback machine. I found all these gems AND my old blog. The photos below were all taken in 1999, when we started having LAN parties, 5-6 of us descending on a friends computer shop where he was working. We did 24 hours including midnight mooches to a kebap house just across the road. Playing CS, red alert, unreal tournament etc all the latest games at the time. Back then you needed a voodoo 3DFX graphics card to run most games. No £1,000 price tags, just a simple graphics card for around £100.

We had so much fun in those days. Before life began really, some of my favourite memories were born here.

Two individuals working at a desk in an office setting, one is looking at an open cardboard box while the other assists. Visible items include a tripod, computer equipment, and various office supplies.
Two young males sitting in a computer room with desktop computers, one looking at the camera with a playful expression and the other focused on a computer screen.
A young person seated at a desk in a computer lab, using a desktop computer with two monitors. They are wearing glasses and a light jacket, engaged in computer activity. A bottle of drink is placed on the desk.
A young man sitting at a desk in front of a computer monitor, making a peace sign with his hand. The monitor displays a strategy game. Other computers and various items are visible in the background.
Two children sitting at desks with old desktop computers, one with a blue screen and the other displaying static. The room has a window with raindrops on it.
Two young men seated at computer desks in a room with a window. One man is looking towards the camera while the other is focused on his screen. There are cardboard boxes and packaging scattered around the room.

College. And its dangerous proximity to a pub

We all went to college together in Wales doing a two year advanced IT course. We made many a trip to the local pub at lunch time or if the lessons finished early. Granted we were all underage at the time but in those days no one really cared so long as you weren’t 12 years old. Here is a selection of photos I’ve salvaged from that time.

A young man with glasses sits at a table in a pub setting, wearing a light jacket. Beside him, another figure with a festive green and red hat is also present. The background features cozy seating and dim lighting, with patrons visible in the distance.
Three friends making funny faces while sitting at a table in a pub, with drinks and snacks in front of them.
A group of young people sitting at a table in a pub, with one person wearing sunglasses and a hat. A balloon figure is placed on the table, surrounded by drinks and snacks.
A group of five young men wearing festive hats and drinking beverages in a pub, gathered around a table with snacks and glasses. The interior features patterned curtains and a warm atmosphere.
Three young men sitting at a table in a pub, two are looking at the camera while one smiles. Empty drink bottles and glasses are on the table.
Group of young men sitting in a pub, one holding a white t-shirt with a logo, with drinks and food on the table.
A young man holding a glass of beer, smiling at the camera, while another young man sits in the background looking away.
A group of young adults sitting at a table in a pub, some holding drinks, with one person eating a burger. The background shows a bar and another individual standing.
Group of friends sitting at a table in a pub, with drinks and a relaxed atmosphere. One person has spiky hair, while others have varying hairstyles. The setting includes low lighting and decorative walls.
Three young men sitting on a railing by the beach, two holding cigars, with a coastal town in the background under a cloudy sky.

My good old blog

I managed to extract a post written back in 2003. At that time I was in university, oddly enough about 500m from where we used to live in the student halls. Which has since been demolished and is now the site of a gated community.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

You know I thought the cleaner was annoying, I have decided that Sylvia the warden is equally annoying now. 11am she comes into the flat shouting ‘Is any body in?’ and then starts whistling loudly. Apparently a noise complaint was made about the flat monday morning or something by security. So we all had to go and argue with her about it, because that was the one day we didn’t actually make any noise.
That was fun, once we explained to her that it wasn’t us and security were a bunch of wankers, we sat in her office talking about stupid things people have done whilst they stayed at the halls, apparently last year, the people in are flat put a VHS tape in the microwave, which in turn blew the microwave up and they chucked it out of the second story window..and then the year before that someone stole a luggage trolly from the train station, take it back to the halls, and use it to tow a mini(car) in the car park and hid it behind a building. So we were just laughing are asses off, also found out that someone stole a pear tree from the quad, one day it was there, and the next it was replaced by a hole or something…

Went off to town with Tom, Mez and Rolf to go out and get things, which I’ll tell ya about later because someone might read this and find out what we were doing and will kill the suprise.

I got bored and found some pictures that I never stuck up on the site before, so click here, just various random picture of things over the past few weeks, nothing major.

I watched the last ever buffy episode, awwww, good episode though, downloaded it last night when someone abandoned me. Would have thought they would have made it longer or something, but was good anyway, but aww, not because its ended but from what happened.

I then spent till 5am looking at clothes online…kill me now, I’ve turned into a girl 😛 nah, I’m joking, I got bored and remembered I need new shoes and stuff, so found a load of decent sites to get stuff off 🙂

Song: Green Day – Blood, sex, and booze [lyrics]

ranted by m0rph . @ 5:43 PM ::

Conclusion

My writing style has changed a little bit, not much, still blogging about random stuff happening in my life and running a commentary. It’s been nice looking through the old posts, it brought back some nice memories. I’ll have to see if I can dig out anymore.

Suprise QOTD *gasp*

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Daily writing prompt
What do you enjoy most about writing?
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It’s more of a love-and-hate relationship. Actually. No. Remember that superhero movie that came out in the late 90s where they all had crap superpowers. You had this one guy who could turn invisible but only if no one was looking at him. THAT. But with writing. It has to be done when no one is staring at me or if I feel pressured to. Otherwise, your gonna get shit.

I do enjoy it for the most part because it allows me a freedom that I don’t have in a day-to-day sense; I can say things on here that I cannot repeat in public. Suppose you could call that hiding as well in a sense but I enjoy it. I love reading other people’s blogs and thoughts. It’s nice to be part of such a massive community that writing brings.

I’m also a letter writer. Now that’s something I love to do. Sealing the letter with wax and writing with a fountain pen.

Tempting

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So I’ve been looking for ideas to blog about and came across this phase where people spend a whole typing a poem/story/picture of something, and each day has a different word or suggestion. Now. I can’t do poetry. But I do love writing short stories. I’ll need to type it all out and then schedule post them. I’ll still do my regular posts alongside.

Or no. Maybe I do one a week and keep up the other bits.

I’m just excited about the idea of posting short stories without using story cubes (best thing ever)