Tag: freedom

Crappy poem #8

Andy Young2 Comments


The pain is all I know
It’s all I feel, it’s all I show
I cut, I burn, I bleed
I do it all to numb the pain inside

I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop
It’s like a drug, I’m addicted to the drop
Of blood, of pain, of relief
It’s all I have, it’s all I need

I’m trapped in this cycle, I can’t escape
I’m drowning in my own self-hate
I’m lost, alone, and afraid
I don’t know how to break this chain

But I know I have to try
I have to find a way to stop
This cycle of pain and misery
I have to find a way to heal

I know it won’t be easy
But I’m not giving up
I’m going to fight this, I’m going to win
I’m going to break this cycle and be free.

Short Story: about passion

Andy YoungLeave a comment

I’ve been dancing since I was a little boy. I remember the first time I saw a tango couple perform, I was mesmerized. The way they moved together was so passionate and intense, and I knew that I had to learn how to do it.

I started taking tango lessons, and I quickly fell in love with the art form. I loved the way it made me feel. When I was tangoing, I felt like I was in a different world. I felt alive and connected to my partner.

As I got older, I started exploring other forms of dance, like waltz, foxtrot, and swing. But tango always remained my favorite. There’s just something about the way it combines passion, intensity, and sensuality that I find incredibly appealing.

Tango has become a passion for me. It’s more than just a hobby or a form of exercise. It’s a way of life. It’s my way of connecting with my body, my partner, and the world around me.

I’m so grateful that I found tango. It’s given me so much joy and fulfillment. It’s made me a stronger person, both physically and mentally. And it’s helped me to find my voice.

I know that there are some people who think that tango is only for couples. But I want to tell those people that they’re wrong. Tango is for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, young or old, tall or short. If you have a passion for tango, then you should go for it.

Diazepam Thoughts

Andy Young2 Comments

It could just be the diazepam circulating in my blood and messing with my brain but I think I miss the covid times when we had to stay indoors and not leave the house. That itself makes me sad because I should want to go into the outside world and be social. Not miss the days when I didn’t have to make an excuse, it was simply just, well, covid so not leaving the house today. It’s really not fair on the family around me, it’s selfish of me and that’s not good.

I used to love going outdoors and doing things. Instead, now I fear it and dread the days when I have to leave. I have a handful of safe places that I can go to. The kid’s school for collection (I hide in the car), the pet food store, the petrol station, and the pharmacy. I can push myself sometimes and go and collect shopping from the collection point at the supermarket. I can walk the dogs but never lift my eyes from the pavement and rush along so no one sees me.

Truth be told. I hate it. I really really do. This time last year I had carers coming into the house to keep my company and try and take me outside. It worked but for several reasons, I contacted the council and stopped the home help. It really doesn’t help your self-esteem when you have care workers looking after you. I wish I could have that excitement again of going shopping and looking at all the food on the shelves instead of on an app. I wish I could jump in the car and drive somewhere and not freak out about stuff.

It could just be the diazepam. But, I miss the times when I didn’t need to excuse myself all the time. Like a crutch.