Tag: future

Short Story: About Friendship

Andy YoungLeave a comment

The old man sat on the bench, watching the children play. He smiled as he remembered a time when he was young and carefree, just like them.

He thought about all the good times he had had in his life, and all the people he had loved. He knew that he had been lucky, and he was grateful for all the blessings he had received.

As he watched the children play, he thought about the future. He knew that there would be challenges ahead, but he also knew that he would face them with courage and determination. He was ready for whatever life threw his way.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could smell the fresh air and hear the sound of children laughing. He felt happy and content. He knew that life was good.

Rambling

Andy Young4 Comments

I will be 40 in a few months and it feels like I should be thinking about the future. About what I want out of life, what I want to do with life, and how to exist. Should I retrain into a new profession, or should I stop the charity work for paid work? What lessons can I teach my son, what experiences have they had? They are growing up now too. B is going to be 12 and R is 13! The things they like are so different now and I think I miss them being small. I never thought that, I always wished they would be teenagers and sleep all the time but now I miss them. What is life like, post-kids? we want to buy a house but struggling with the deposit. The price here in Manchester is crazy so we are looking at Scotland near Saltcoats. Cheaper and bigger houses just be a shame to move the kids while they are in school still.

Trying to figure out if this is a midlife crisis where I miss everything, want to change and try new things and explore the world more. I was very lucky when I was young as my parents took us on trips around the world, going to different places. I thought I would have found my place in the world by now.

D is taking the kids on holiday. B first to Germany for a few days and then probably Spain with S. I will be at home for both trips, staying with the dogs, and because I trigger B. Dont know what to say about that really.

Rambling blog post today

  • What are your values? What is important to you? What do you want to achieve in life?
  • What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?
  • What are your dreams and goals? What do you want to accomplish in the next 5, 10, or 20 years?

“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.”

Andy Young2 Comments

So, which is it? Are we alone in the universe, or are we not? Both possibilities are equally terrifying.

Always loved this quote. Something about it just resonates in my head. I look forward to the day, probably my son’s generation, when they will hear a bloop on a satellite somewhere indicating an intelligent signal. It’s simply not possible to believe in a world other than our own in the vast expanse of the Universe. I think my generation will be long gone before that happens. Nice to think it wouldn’t. Like flying cars. We were promised flying cars by now and that hasn’t happened so there is not much hope for us!

My BPD is playing up today. I had lots of plans and little plans to accomplish but I couldn’t seem to get my feet off the ground to do it. I’ve managed to have an existential crisis, tidy the lounge & kitchen, take delivery & put away all the food shopping and that’s where it ends. It’s not a case of sitting on the sofa power scrolling my way through FB but a gentle sob with a tear in my eye trying to stop thinking.

This is a dangerous area for me. When this starts to happen I need to catch it fast, trap it, and then deep space launch it to the sun. Stopping thinking, personally, is the hardest part of this condition. You just simply cannot shut the voices up. I’m trying the counting method which I explained before but it’s like there are levels in my head where I think of different things. I count, then I hear a voice whilst still counting so I start a new count at the opposite pace of the first count and then another voice and I get THE biggest headache trying to cover that with this and so on. It’s led me to a dark place where I want to just crack open a few pills, rum, lots of rum, and numb everything. I know I’m supposed to take valium when this happens but I hate the stuff because I need a large dose which causes a hangover the next day.

I just need to take my mind off things for a while. But this happened five days ago. I hate the rapid cycles. It’ll probably be mostly gone by the evening and I’ll be back to my cheery self. But what if it’s not? so the cycle continues.

So, the plan for today will be to take the dogs on their afternoon walk, get dog food for them on the way to get the kids, get the kids, and then slink back into the darkness and safety of the house. How about you guys, many wild plans for today?