Andy Young, Author at Frogs are evil

Question of the Day: Why Can Nobody Give a Straight Answer Anymore?

October 18, 2026 Andy Young5 Comments

Is there anything more head-bangingly frustrating than trying to extract a simple, straight answer out of someone, only to get a bucket of absolute riddle-rubbish in return?

You ask a basic “yes or no” or “what is actually going on?”, and instead you get slurred mumbling, vague waffle, or a ten-minute run around that leaves you knowing significantly less than before you asked. It’s like people actively train to avoid making sense.

What really pisses me off is when someone rambles in total circles, hands you half a sentence, and then acts like you’re the thick one for asking what the hell they’re talking about.

So, today’s question for the comments:

When it comes to useless communication, what really angers you off the most?

Is it the cryptic puzzle-masters, the mumblers, or the people who speak for five minutes straight without actually saying anything at all? Drop your rants below.

Question of the Day: The 1% Battery

October 16, 2026 Andy Young9 Comments

close up shot of black and yellow batteries

It’s Friday. The week is done, the battery is flashing red, and the coffee has officially stopped working.

We all have that one highly specific coping mechanism we fall back on when the brain refuses to process anything more complex than a loading screen. Mine usually involves surrendering to gravity on the sofa, shutting out the world, and watching strangers play video games on YouTube so I don’t have a seizure.

So, what is yours? When your battery hits 1%, what is your ultimate, zero-effort survival tactic?

Drop it in the comments. I need to know I’m not the only one.

QotD: Black Ops

October 14, 2026October 13, 2026 Andy Young4 Comments

rustic padlocked door with weathered texture

What is a completely mundane, everyday task that you approach with the tactical intensity of a military black-ops mission?

Here is mine: During the daylight hours, I am a perfectly reasonable member of society. The windows are open, the air flows, and I exist in a state of relative, breezy normalcy. But the absolute second the sun starts to dip below the horizon? My brain flips a switch, the triggers fire up, and securing this flat becomes a high-stakes tactical mission. PTSD and FND attacks occur almost nightly unless I secure the flat.

To be fair, the area I live in isn’t exactly a gated utopia—as anyone who read the saga of the crackhead porch pirates will remember. So, when dusk hits, the perimeter gets sealed. We are talking vibration sensors on the windows, blackout blinds drawn tight across the front, front door sensors armed, and triple locks fully engaged. I’m currently plotting to add an exterior motion sensor or a Ring doorbell just to get early-warning perimeter breach alerts. And if anyone actually makes it past the electronics, they still have to face the ultimate deterrent: two highly trained attack Rottweilers cleverly disguised as pet budgies.

The only people officially cleared to breach the airlock after dark are the care staff. Fortunately, they have the code to the key safe outside and gracefully humor my intense evening weirdness as they let themselves in. They understand that once the sun goes down, this isn’t just a flat in a residential block anymore; it’s a heavily monitored fortress.

Drop your highly unnecessary tactical routines in the comments below, so we can compare notes and figure out who is best equipped to survive a zombie apocalypse, or at least a rogue Amazon delivery driver.

The Ghost of Presents Past and Unconscious Cinema

October 12, 2026October 29, 2026 Andy Young9 Comments

I have learned two very important lessons over the last 24 hours. One of those lessons came from reflecting on the Ghost of Presents Past.

First, talking about world leaders and ballistic missile shields is a fantastic way to watch your follower count immediately drop. Apparently, my geopolitical musings aren’t for everyone. Note to self: stick to complaining about supermarket shrinkflation and my increasingly demanding pet birds. On a lighter note, thinking about the Past Ghost of Presents still makes me chuckle.

Second, ‘Past Me’ is an absolute legend. On a whim today, feeling a bit restless, I checked an old hiding spot and miraculously found a forgotten emergency reserve of exactly what I needed to completely check out for a bit. It was as if the spirit of the Ghost related to Presents Past had set it there for me. I’ll leave the exact details a mystery, but sometimes the universe just throws you a bone.

The sleep was much needed, largely because I was up until 2 AM last night actively avoiding it. My brain had decided to serve up some absolutely horrendous nightmares the night before, so I was treating my own bed like a trap. It made me realize how utterly flawed the human sleep system is. We just close our eyes, cross our fingers, and hope our subconscious doesn’t decide to direct a psychological horror movie while we are paralyzed in the dark. By the way, nightmares could easily be the work of some Ghost from Presents Past haunting our minds.

Which leads me to today’s question. Taking inspiration from the idea of visiting dreams, much like a Ghost of Presents Past would revisit memories, what genre would you choose?

Question of the Day: If you could select the genre of your dreams every night, just like picking a movie on Netflix, what genre are you watching? Give me your ideal sleep-cinema categories in the comments.

Comedy. I want to wake up laughing for a change! Who knows, maybe laughter was a gift from my own Ghost of Past Presents.

The Weekend Report: Digital Freight, Nosey Cameras, and Ballistic Shields

October 11, 2026 Andy Young3 Comments

The weekend has officially concluded, the teenager has been successfully returned to his rightful owners, and I am currently pinned to the sofa by a necessary dose of diazepam (or Valium, for those stateside). I had to take it to calm my nervous system down after a post-visit, overwhelm-induced seizure. Project Zomboid is on in the background, and I am heavily contemplating a sofa nap that my brain will almost certainly refuse to allow. Not to mention I had terrible nightmares last night. I was exhausted from the lack of sleep so while it was good to sleep for six hours, the nightmares? so not worth it.

Ben made it home safely this afternoon. The trains were packed, which I’m sure made the 15-minute walk to the station carrying a bag stuffed with roughly 80% of my fridge’s contents an absolute joy. We had a great time, largely fueled by a newly purchased Steam sale game called Bering Tonnage. It is an incredibly complicated cargo shipping simulator that we spent five solid hours trying to figure out on Saturday. I tapped out at 11:30 PM. I found out today that Ben, left to his own devices, stayed up moving digital freight until 4:00 AM. That certainly explains his absolute fatigue when I woke him up this morning. I did actually play the role of responsible parent and made him proper bacon and fried egg sandwiches for breakfast.

Before he succumbed to the cargo logistics black hole, he did actually earn his keep. The new daylight lamp for the birds is officially installed and operational. Mojo and Blobette absolutely love it, and it is going to be a lifesaver for the darker winter nights (and for the days I simply need to hide from the world with the blackout blinds). I tried to capitalise on this good mood by enticing Mojo with some millet spray. He looked genuinely tempted to step onto my outstretched hand, but my FND was thoroughly playing up, leaving my arm shaking like a leaf. Mojo abruptly cancelled the negotiation—birds, it turns out, do not trust a vibrating perch. Thankfully, the diazepam is starting to calm those tremors down, so I will try again after his current snooze.

In other domestic news, we took some time to reposition the front security camera so it can properly see the steps leading to the main door. Why? Because someone was outside throwing up, and naturally, we had to stealthily pan the camera to get a better look at the drama. Am I nosey? Yes. Do I have any regrets? Absolutely not.

Looking ahead, I am very close to hitting my savings goal for Ben’s birthday and Christmas present. At the end of the month, I’ll be ordering him a £150 electric guitar bundle that comes with the amp and strings. He has been playing acoustic brilliantly for the past few years, so he is incredibly excited for the upgrade. His mum is picking up a floor stand and an effects pedal for him, because the walls in his new house apparently do not have the structural integrity to support wall mounts.

On the blog admin side of things, I had a very pleasant surprise. It turns out I have a Tumblr account that WordPress has been quietly cross-posting to, and it is actually getting some engagement. Even better, someone generously dropped a £5 donation in my Buy Me a Coffee. To whoever that was: you have no idea how much that made me smile. Thank you. It has given me the kick I needed to look into the platform’s features and figure out some actual reward tiers for the future.

Finally, against my better judgement, a brief foray into world affairs. I don’t usually talk politics or religion here, largely because it’s too polarising and life is exhausting enough. But the whole Trump taking Russia’s side thing is genuinely baffling to me. It also got me thinking about the UK’s nuclear deterrence strategy. Why are we relying on the frankly terrifying “Mutually Assured Destruction” promise of hitting back? Surely, building a ballistic shield to cover the UK and parts of Europe would be a much more sensible choice. Charge us all a fiver a month on our council tax bills to fund it. It would certainly belay a lot of the country’s underlying dread without relying on a standoff. But that is exactly as far into politics as I am willing to wade today.

Question of the Day: What do you think about the ballistic shield idea? Would you happily chip in a fiver a month to just intercept the problem instead of relying on the promise of blowing up the world? Let me know in the comments.

Now, if you will excuse me, my heavy-but-wired state requires some immediate attention. It is officially Cheese O’clock. Must be the half dutchness.

The Insomnia Tax, Shrinkflation, and Sci-Fi for Birds

October 10, 2026October 30, 2026 Andy Young5 Comments

I seem to have completely forgotten the mechanics of going to sleep. My physical body is currently functioning with the structural integrity of a wet sandbag, but my brain has decided it is high noon and time to run a marathon. Being utterly exhausted but completely wired is a special kind of nocturnal torture, and it usually means I am staring at the ceiling until 2 AM. This is what I call The Insomnia Tax, and it feels like there is no refund. For me, The Insomnia Tax imposes a penalty every restless night.

Since I’m awake, let’s talk about the sheer audacity of modern supermarkets. I had my Asda shop delivered today and decided to get some Halloween sweet multi-packs for my carers. Have you seen the state of these things recently? You practically need to remortgage your house to buy a bag, and when you finally open it, the actual chocolates are microscopic. Don’t even get me started on Cadbury. They are the absolute worst offenders in the shrinkflation game. I’m paying premium prices for a fun-size bar that is now genuinely the size of a postage stamp. It’s not a treat; it’s a choking hazard. All this, like dealing with supermarkets, sometimes feels as thankless as taxes on insomnia itself.

Reading

But I digress. On a much lighter, slightly weirder note, I have established a new evening routine in the flat. Every night at 9:30 PM, I read aloud to Mojo and Blobette. We are currently working our way through The War of the Worlds. Apparently, H.G. Wells’ tale of Martian destruction is incredibly soothing if you have feathers. They sit there on their perches, puff up into little round spheres of absolute contentment, and practically fall asleep listening to the carnage. It’s working wonders—they are noticeably less skittish around me now that we have our evening story time. Even the birds don’t have to pay what I call an insomnia tax, it seems.

I also have a daylight lamp sitting in its box ready to be installed for them, so they still get enough rays as the dark winter days draw in. I haven’t quite mustered the energy to wrestle with extension cables and timers yet, but it’s on the agenda. It’s genuinely nice to end the week with a positive little project waiting in the wings. Meanwhile, that unique penalty called insomnia tax is lurking, waiting for me at bedtime.

Since The War of the Worlds is almost finished, I need your help.

What are some good, relatively short books I can read to the birds next? They seem to enjoy classic literature and alien invasions, but I’m open to suggestions.

P.S. A massive thank you and welcome to all the new subscribers who have joined recently. It is lovely to have you here in our weird little corner of the internet.

Short Story: About Love

QotD: Instant level up

October 9, 2026October 30, 2026 Andy Young6 Comments

If you could instantly wake up fluent in any language without having to study it, which one would you pick? It would feel like an instant level up for your skills and opportunities, almost as if you had pressed an instant level up button in real life.

For me, it’s a toss-up:

Dutch: To talk with my Dutch family without relying on translation apps. Learning Dutch overnight would be the ultimate instant level up for connecting with relatives. I can understand far more than I can speak, but actually using it day-to-day isn’t easy. I need to practice!
Welsh: For the homeland. I got a GCSE grade E in school, but I actually picked up a lot more when I was living near Llanrwst—just hearing it in passing in a proper Welsh-speaking area made a huge difference.
Russian: Strictly for the dream factor. It’s supposed to be notoriously hard to learn and would be of absolutely no practical use to me whatsoever, but I just find it fascinating to read and listen to. Instantly getting fluent in Russian would feel like the biggest instant level up imaginable!

(Honourable mention to French, where I somehow managed a C at GCSE despite it not being a priority at the time.)

What about you? What language would you download into your brain instantly if you could? Choosing one could be your own instant level up.

Thank you.

October 8, 2026 Andy Young1 Comment

Thank you to whoever donated £25 to my Buy Me a Coffee thing, you have no idea how helpful that was and so, so kind of you. I won’t mention the name as it was done anonymously but whoever you are. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I have ordered some coffee beans and a couple of espresso shot glasses as a treat. I’ve been wanting to get them for a while.

Awesomeness.

Time Team, 17th Century Farms, and the Art of Socializing

October 7, 2026 Andy Young1 Comment

The best friend visit has officially concluded, and I am currently back on the sofa—blinds drawn, brain rot playing on YouTube, and living on leftover naan bread while my nervous system slowly re-calibrates.

All things considered, it was a success. The initial five minutes carried the usual social awkwardness, but we quickly settled into a rhythm of red wine (me), beers (him), and an Indian takeaway. My disordered eating decided to crash the party, allowing me precisely five mouthfuls before declaring me entirely full, but Owen politely didn’t make a thing of it and polished off his own meal. The birds took to him immediately, and he genuinely loved the flat—particularly the lounge—which made the pre-visit panic feel a bit more worthwhile and made me happy.

We even mapped out a plan to alternate visits once a month, which gives me a structured, low-pressure way to slowly break out of the flat and rebuild a bit of a social life beyond my usual tight circle.

Naturally, the morning brought administrative chaos. Despite cancelling my care calls for breakfast and lunch, a carer materialised in my hallway at 8:00 AM while I was in my dressing gown thinking it was Owen. A second one turned up at lunchtime, requiring me to pull out written confirmation like a landlord conducting an inspection. They were apologetic.

We spent the morning drinking tea and watching Time Team, which ended up triggering a massive wave of nostalgia. It made me look back on my time living on a 17th-century farm—80 acres of land, natural water springs, and endless ground to explore. It’s strange how getting older makes you realize just how extraordinary certain periods of your life were, and how much I’d love to be out there today with a metal detector digging up history.

For now, though, the flat is quiet, the front and back cameras are watching the perimeter, and I am officially in recovery mode for the rest of the day.

Also, there was an email from one of ben’s teachers saying how well he is doing in class, that he’s putting in massive effort and that she’s proud of him. Well safe to say i am extremely proud given its only month two at his new school. Yay for him.