So the budgees. I’ve mentioned them a few times before. They are still alive and well, well, Mojo maybe needs to lose some weight but apart from that they are happy.
This is Mojo. Despite being bigger than Blobette he still manages to get pushed around. I still haven’t worked out how he’s bigger because Blobette stops him eating all the time. Not because blobette wants food he just doesn’t like the thought of mojo eating.
Anyway, the point of this post. On Monday I introduced greens for the first time, well, properly. Last time they freaked out and didn’t go near it, Now for the first time ever they are eating them.
It took a good two days before they were confident enough to start investigating. Blobette first and then Mojo. Then they got over confident and started trying to flip the tub with greens over. I still haven’t worked out why. I change it every morning, they have become accustomed to the process. Sat, staring at me till I put them in.
And that’s the big news. Well, for me, for everyone else that’s probably not a big deal. The next step is to get them out of the cage more. I leave it open up top every day or so for a few hours. They have started to sit on the top but they don’t really stray too far from there.
Both of them keep me company though, someone to talk to and look after. I am entertaining the idea of getting a cat but I’m not sure where or what type of cat to get. I still have main coon ambitions but they require a lot of care. I’d be happy with an older cat that just wants to stay indoors and be doted on. You know, give them a few good years before they die of old age. So if anyone knows of anyone looking to rehome or has kittens then please let me know.
I would love a dog again but it would require me to go outside to walk them which just isn’t possible at this moment in time. The stroke numbness frikking FND crap means I can’t really walk very far. Plus I have to walk with two walking sticks to get about so trying to hold a lead or even poo pick would be quite difficult. Maybe one day. I’ll keep pushing.
Hmm. Back to watching Project Zomboid play throughs.
Hello. In this post, we’ll be talking about The flat.
Its been a week since I last posted. Quite a lot happened in the week, it was an odd week of everything that could go wrong, did in fact go very, wrong.
The flat
Wednesday last week was amazing. I had the call about the flat and most importantly they said it was all signed off and ready to sign up. They sent through some paperwork and a request for the first weeks rent. Not a problem, paid, filled everything in and then arranged to meet on Friday at 12pm.
It was cold. The wind strong. But I got an Uber from the motel to the flat which got me there for 11.45am. Waited till 12.15pm then texted the housing guy. Nothing. 12.30pm and gave him a ring. “Oh you are at the property! I asked the lettings team to call you this morning as a mistake was made. The property isn’t ready!”. Awesome.
“Are you taking the piss? I’ve been stood in the freezing cold for 45mins and now need to call an taxi, £12 one way.” He apologised a lot. I got back to the motel and face planted into the bed.;’
And so…
I emailed a summary of the events, how its affected my mental health, how its soul destroying being here and it gets worse each day. That I would like to make a formal complaint. I got an email back on Friday saying sorry, followed up with a phone call from the manager. She was apologetic, said that they will progress the complaint up the chain and that as a sorry you can have a gift voucher for £50. I asked if it was a bribe and she said no.
They are supposed to call me today (Wednesday) to let me know the new date. Hopefully it won’t be something like a year. I did say to the manager that I wanted an exact date, what needs to be done and if I can move in while they carry out the work. That I wouldn’t mind.
The charity
Yesterday I had an email from the charity that I do refurbishment work for. So old laptop comes in, I clean and sort then its given to a family or person in need. I think I explained it better in an earlier post. Well anyway, I would volunteer my Tuesdays & Thursdays to sorting out any bits, arranging collections and drop offs. Well, they haven’t managed to secure funding and are shutting down the digital side of things. Bleh. I was quite upset as I enjoyed helping people and putting my skills to good use. Tomorrow I’ll start doing some research into other projects and see if I can link in with them.
Blah
Had R round on Saturday, we went into town to the museum and had an awesome daddy daughter day. So something good did happen.
Hopefully there wont be a fire alarm as I’m using my backup headphones which blocks out all sound except the music. My normal headphones have sadly died. Momentum 2 headphones. Amazing for blocking noise but also has that thing where it picks up voices and amplifies them so I can talk and listen. Anyways, bestie said I should check the warranty to see if they are still covered. Think they are 3 years old now. I cant justify buying a new set because I’m trying to save everything for the flat because I dont know how much it will cost to get everything moved.
The flat
Some good news though, a friend of D’s mum is moving away to poland and has loads of things he can give as he cant take them. So as if by magic I’ve now got a bed, sofa, washing machine, fridge/freezer, kitchen table and chairs and pots & pans. Which is awesome because I can then use the money saved to get other essential things. Today I was supposed to get a call to arrange to get the keys. Unfortunately , the housing officer is on annual leave till tomorrow so will have to wait a little bit longer. It would be fantastic if they are ready but not holding my breath. The council called today to say they have extended me for another week so I have some wiggle room with getting keys and moving a bed there at least. Or I’ll buy a self inflating mat with a sleeping bag. But yeah, I was disappointed as always.
Rage against the motel
Its freezing here again. Not sure if i talked about my mini heater and that it got banned after I led a revolt against the management here? well we are using them again. Well I am, only for a burst of ten minutes in an hour. I was sat in my coat last week it was that bad. I also have my carpal tunnel gloves on to head my hands up. Its sad that they can’t just leave the heating on all the time and people can just control the temp by changing the settings on the radiator. I guess its a trust thing. Either way I’ll stay warm with my heater. If I use it after 2pm I’m generally okay because house keeping will of been already. They stand close to the door to feel the temp of the room to make sure we aren’t using additional heating.
Sheffield!
I’ve set a date with bestie to meet up in February in Sheffield. I’ll be booking the hotel soon hopefully near the train station. Get there on a Sunday and back on the train on Monday. Just need to make sure there are no strikes going on during that time. Head to a pub, sit in the comfy corner, talk, talk and talk in equal measures with drink. Then stumble to the hotel at kicking out time, sleep and then breakfast somewhere. Looking forward to it. Maybe we can plan the fishing holiday later this year as well.
Friends and loneliness … again.
I miss having friends I think. I lost a huge chunk of them by moving away with no notice back in 2007. Then one who I thought was a friend but only realised they were using me (this was discovered two weeks ago) so lost him. I still have O, the bestie, and thats it. One. Probably my fault for not being social or making more of an effort to talk to people. I miss the days where I had lots of people to talk to on messenger but everyone has moved on with their lives. Maybe 40 is too old to make new friends. Its bothering me though. Its something that I’ve had all my life. Social one minute, recluse the next.
The family
The kids are doing well. B is obsessed with Flight Simulator now that he has the airbus controller with throttles, switches and designed to be a replica of the one in an A320. Scary that he knows the checklists, clicks on all the switches, knows what they do. There is a place in Barton that D found where you can use the flight simulator that pilots use. Really expensive but spoke to B about it yesterday and we agreed we will save up for him to go at some point this year. I imagine he will love it. Then tell the instructor how to do everything.S is progressing nicely with her musical journey. We scored an 82% match on spotify so I know she is listening to some good stuff. Some questionable such as sped up versions of Eminem songs. To eaches own.
Brother is doing better than this time last month when I thought he died and his ghost was trying to tell me to call the cops. I might of been delirious out of sickness at the start of December. I remember being at the house looking after the kids for a few nights in a row and he was suicidal. Hes ok now. Its a drug pattern which will happen at pay day as well after he indulges his nose and then has a come down a few days later. But apart from that, he’s been let off by the police after leaving the scene of a crash, hes working and his drinking is reduced at the moment.
And thats it I think. To the guys in my comments, we need a way for a three way chat (messenger? whats app?) and get a clan together to play online. Sure we can find a game that we can all enjoy.
On Friday I was due to collect the keys for the flat. They delayed it for a 4th time, now it’s 15/01. I must admit I wasn’t expecting to to be read. I think the same thing will happen in the new year. I’ve left a message with my housing officer to see if I can switch onto another property as this is really starting to grate. I’ve been in temporary accommodation since 17th August. Its 16th December. Ridiculous.
Today was B’s birthday. I got there for 8.30am so I wouldn’t miss the present opening. He was really happy with his monitors, keyboard and mouse and headphones. Fast forward 30mins. Screaming, banging and hitting his desk. This was because the monitor was 0.5cm off on the hight. It was ridiculous. Full on screaming fit. Took the new monitors off himi and installed the ones he replaced. He started slapping his face, hitting his legs and pulling his hair out. Sounds like adhd. He’s okay now, i think, D took them to an arcade place in Bury. All the arcade machines, one fee and you can play to your hearts content. If it wasn’t for my shit brain I would of gone.
I had a seizure yesterday which has really knocked me for 6, I woke up dizzy and unable to stand without the stick. As I was mostly sitting down at D’s it was easily managed till I fell in the bathroom. So now i have this thing where I worried to leave the room this I’m okay again. I can get to the garage next door if I speed shop and get back inside of 10 minutes. I *really* needed that flat to be ready. I can get carers to help again and things would be a bit easier.
So i’ve been tying sentences, then deleting them and then writing more. I’ve got writers block I think, from taking a too long break from doing two posts a day. It would be nice to get back into it and keep it going again.
On Sunday, R visited me at the hotel. I managed to steal her for a few hours. Just me and her. We got an uber into Bolton. We walked, talked, shopped and ate like kings and queens. In short, we had a great time. We stopped at this amazing dessert/coffee shop and stuffed our faces. I managed to get a few bits for Christmas and treated R to a few different things. It was my first proper time in the town centre since the uni days. Its changed so much. There are trading card shops which I managed to escape. Plus I dont think R approves of the pokemon addiction and she kept looking at me, glaring.
I dont know why I collect them. I have over 50 packets which need opening but can’t do it. I used to have this thing with D where she would help me open them as it made her happy. I think because of the seperation my brain is being a dickhead and blocking me from doing it. I’m sure the time will come and I’ll open them.
I was round D’s house on Monday and Tuesday till 6pm. Slept over on the sofa which actually tries to eat you when you lay on it. It sort of moves the cushions out and you are half under the damn thing. B hasn’t been well and S is having a hard time with some horrible people at her school. Its B’s birthday on Saturday. Got him two monitors, keyboard and mouse, plus a mat for his desk so he’s happy. I’ll be going round Saturday early morning to get them up and running for him. I’ll keep his other two that we are replacing as I can use it with my machine when I get to the flat.
Speaking of which I find out on Friday if all the work is done so I can move in. I really want it to be ready but trying not to let me hopes get up too much as last time I was devastated. the place where i volunteer run a food, clothing and device bank. They’ve said they’ll put a large food parcel together for me so I have the basics to get going. Which is awesome. they also have curtains and things so will have a look tomorrow.
I had the letter through revoking my license so will need to take an uber tomorrow which works out at £25 one way. I need to collect some pads and a laptop for D to use at her school to teach maths at lunch time. A box was made but the apprentice has managed to lose the box so I’ll be on a hunting mission. Hopefully it is still there as I will be majorly annoyed if the tablets have disappeared.
There is a plan for Christmas! I’ll be sleeping over at D’s house Christmas Eve to Christmas Day so I get loads of time with the kids. I’m looking forward to it. its crept up so fast. i guess i say that every year. which just means my organisation skills are non-existent. I think its because I’ve been in the hotel since August. they refer to it as an open prison which I would agree. the hassle it took for them to start heating the rooms was shocking. 5 of us bought electric heaters and started using the. Then they banned us using them and increased the heating in the rooms. so that was a success. Guess they didnt want us running up the electric. If they weren’t wankers in the first place then this could of been avoided.
Thats if for boring news. I binge watched ‘The Cleaner’ on iPlayer. Was actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Start of the series was good, then it dipped but by the finale of season 2 it was as good as the early episodes. Now to find something else to watch. Probably fairly odd parents and rewatch loud house episodes.
I’ve been a bit shaky all day. Slurring and walking a challenge, even with the walking stick. It gets like this before a seizure I’ve noticed. So hopefully that will happen nowish so its out of the way and I dont have to worry blacking out in the taxi or at the office in the northern quarter. That would not be good. Judy, who works there already knows about but I’ll wear my FND lanyard just in case.
God, my legs won’t stop being twitchy tonight. Usually, I take magnesium so it doesn’t happen. When I was going through the meds yesterday, I forgot to put some in. I figured I could do with a break. It’s only been two days, haha. Just taken two now, and I’ll put the magnesium bottle next to the pre-made meds.
I’m so dizzy; it’s ridiculous. I can’t even see straight. I tried sleeping it off, but the power nap didn’t shift it. Some exciting news for me. Bestie has said he will come along for a fishing holiday in a few months. Wood cabin by the river or feeder lake, and he’ll cook what I catch. Hopefully, sometime early summer, we can hit the water and see what we can find. He has also offered his excellent cooking skills once I’m set up to show me a few easy singleton meals. Looking forward to that.
And so…
It was R’s 13th birthday on Saturday. she bought this amazing ring from Pandora with her birthday money, which was great. Ugh, the dizziness hits. Today, I was at D’s house at 7 am to wait in for a parcel for her. Played with the dogs, which equates to me lying on the floor, going mental, and a stampede. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Headed back to the hotel after things were delivered and flirted with music and the news. Today is also work (volunteer) day, so I was instructing J on how to set up a web server with the task of creating a PHP file which used a MySQL back end. I’ve not heard from him since.
Need to get hold of Day as it’s been a couple of days, but we’ve done the daily check-in for three weeks.
The twitchy leg syndrome is starting to wear off, which is awesome as I hate that feeling.
So I've been keeping myself busy the past couple of days with the charity work which seems to be undergoing some crisis at the moment. Something to do with funding and them scrambling to sort out bids. Fortunately, I'm not involved in that side of it, but just the tech side of stuff. So day to day refurbishing, issuing plans, and arranging drop-offs and collections. It helps them. It helps me by keeping me grounded and busy.
I've been looking at different jobs on LinkedIn and found a few I would like to try; they are remote roles which is perfect for me and the mental health stuff. Just trying to find a part-time one so I can keep up the other stuff.
I think answering the job QOTD led me down this path and started to make me think that paid employment should be tried again. I keep going through loops of working and not working depending on how bad things are. They aren't stable at the moment, but that doesn't mean I should stop helping people. The job side, I'm just looking at for the moment so maybe I have something in place when I eventually move out of this godforsaken hotel/motel. They still aren't putting the heating on, but my secret weapon came yesterday: a heated blanket. So I've put it under the sheets to lay on and then duvet and another fleece on top of that. Shall be giving it a test run once I've finished the blog.
So my brother just called after ripping his sore tooth out. He got drunk first and then started pulling. It saves what would be £200 for an extraction by a dentist, which he just didn't have spare the past few months. Quite a sad state of affairs in this country when people have a DIY extraction as a solution rather than getting it done professionally. I said I'd have a look around for any antibiotics I can send him just in case it gets infected. Told him to stick a wedge/roll of tissue in the gap and hold it there until it stops bleeding. Hopefully, he won't pass out and choke on his own blood. Crisis. Crisis indeed.
I was up at four am this morning with mind-numbing earache on my left hand side. It came out of nowhere. Fortunately, I have medication I can take, codeine, and that killed it after about an hour. I managed to get back to sleep at 8 am and was up for 11 am to get the day started.
Tomorrow I'm back on emails and meetings to keep me busy. It's Suzi's birthday on Friday, so looking forward to that. We've managed to get an iPad sorted for her birthday with all the frills (case, protector, and drawing pen). Throw in a takeaway, and it's a party. It'll be nice getting it all set up for her, but she's old enough to do all that herself now. 14. That's just crazy. Rebecca will be coming over on Sunday as well; she's asked to go to a cafe for quality time. I found a place not too far from D's house, so we will hobble over to it Sunday morning. Hopefully, it's open. As I can't drive if it isn't, so the backup plan is cake and tea at D's house.
Looking forward to going to a warm bed. 6°C outside, means the room is pretty cold. The heating is still only an hour in the morning and an hour at night. Jumpers are fine during the day, but heated blanket, I love you.
Dad food. Anything I can put in the air fryer: sausages, chips, beans. But actual cooking skill comes in the form of mini lessons D used to give me when she had the patience. I can make a nice honey roast gammon that just melts, thrice-cooked wedges, roasted parsnips, and carrots. A Sunday roast.
I used to love baking but fell out of love with that long ago. I wanted to experiment with petit fours, but all my cooking molds got thrown away, might take it up again when I’ve moved into the flat. Yes, the flat. I’m still waiting for them to finish sorting out the electrics. Much to the chagrin of the council who have to pay for my motel expenses to keep me here. That’s a rant for another post.
I can do spaghetti, oh, and I can make an awesome tuna pasta bake with a thick layer of molten cheese. Come to think of it, at one point, I was using the Cookidoo to make decent meals. It took a lot of tinkering at first, but I guess I’ve learned a fair few dishes. S doesn’t like cheese and is particular about texture, so we used to draw up a list of meals she liked and we would all build a menu.
That makes my heart hurt again. Sunday roasts and planning meals. Something I’ll never get to do again. At least not yet. There are plans in motion.
Proud moments are in abundance with an awesome family such as mine. But then, I’m a little biased about the whole thing. I know many will see it as an easy answer, but I genuinely feel pride when think of the three most annoying, most fabulous kids. From one who reinvents cooking with random TikTok videos (and almost blowing the microwave up), to a Maltesers monster and a turtle-obsessed Ruthian. They each have their quirks, and it makes me so proud when I think about how well they are growing up in a not-so-normal family. So B, S, and R, this one is for you.
B = Future chef/programmer/RPG-playing person!
S = Dolphin trainer.
R = Post-apocalyptic zombie killer.
When I think about it, there are quite a few other people of whom I’m proud. I believe that in different stages of life, we have the privilege to experience that feeling towards someone. Although I may be divorced, there were moments where I was proud to be married to her. Such is the human condition, I suppose. Moving towards family, I am proud of the challenges my mother went through to hold the family together. Every day, I am proud of the small battles my son fights and the progress he makes. It’s quite peculiar, really. You can feel proud of a child standing up to a bully, even though you may not know that person.
It’s 3 am, and I probably shouldn’t be typing at this hour. My apologies for any errors in my previous response.
Blood is thicker than water. I used to believe that. I was a naive 16-year-old saying that. Of course, it doesn’t apply in real life. I grew up and realized that you can have ‘a brother from another mother’. Especially true of O. He’s my best friend, someone I consider more of a brother than anything else. The point of this post is to remind me that I do, in fact, have a brother. The image to the left is on a boat in St Lucia. I can’t remember why we were on a boat, but we were.
We have recently been talking more and more on the phone over the past month or two, and it has been so nice to hear from him. My goodness, he lives a completely messed up life, but he is getting through it.
He has problems with drinks, drugs, and reckless behavior, but I realized, more now than ever, that it’s lonely out here. I think he was lonely too. So the phone calls help. It’s a mutual thing.
I can’t quite remember what we spoke about, but it was something that only we understood. Complete savagery, but we both knew what we were trying to say. The photo to the right was taken in the Pancake House in North Wales, a special place we used to go to celebrate pretty much anything. Mum was Dutch, and she liked it there. I think she got a kick out of being able to speak Dutch to someone.
And so I end this short post. The people you see to the right are me, dad, mum, and Day. Now, with Mum and Dad being dead, it’s just us two left now. Well, and my whole family here – B, S, and R.
I think it’s such a strange and magical bond that blood brothers and sisters have. I can be away from them for years, then instantly we are back as if it was only minutes apart.
So, I don’t actually know what I was setting out to achieve with this post, but I wanted to say that, in conclusion, I’m a little bit happier being in touch with my brother. Even if it won’t last, it was a welcome ear to listen to each other’s problems and try to solve them.
He is a dickhead. But he’s my blood related dickhead. And despite everything that’s gone on, he is my brother. For all his wrongs, he does have some good in him too.
